I changed topics while I was writing my rough draft, because I was I thought that I was going to be able to a better focused essay if I had a specific story to tell, rather than having a open ended topic about my mother. So although my story original was about my mother, it is now about my experience in sixth grade. My mother has definitely changed my life in many ways, but I could not think of one particular story that I should write about. This was the best idea I had to a life altering event that has taken place in my life. I really couldn’t think of anything else that had a bigger impact than that. I wish there was a story I could think of that was more exciting or eventful, than my sixth grade experience.
I agree with all of your feedback. I do believe that my first sentence could be strong. It is not the main focus of my essay, and I could probably re-word it much better. I think that my introduction paragraph can be more focused and organized, as well as the paragraph leading up to the climax.
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